Hey, wake up!
There, that got your attention. And take your feet off the desk when I’m talking to you. I want your pure undivided attention for the next three minutes and twenty-seven point four seconds. That’s how long it should take you to read this article unless you just woke up. Then give yourself an extra minute for your brain to actually begin to function.
Okay, now that we got that out of the way, let’s get to the heart of the matter in regard to this article…putting your reader into a coma. No, this is NOT something that you want to do unless you’re a surgeon looking for a malpractice suit. Sometimes I think there are plenty of those around. But I digress. Where was I?
Oh yes, putting your reader into a coma? Don’t do it!
Next subject. Oh, okay, you need more info. Fine.
Look, you’re an article writer, not an obituary writer. You have something to say to your reader and you want them to read it. Well, if that’s your goal, you need to make what you’re writing a little less dry than a martini. And no, I’m not talking about the shaken, not stirred variety. Bond was a wimp who ordered a wimpy drink and was being snooty about it.
There is way too much out there competing for your reader’s attention. So if you want to hold it, you have to be creative, even outrageous at times. Naturally, the subject matter will have a lot to do with how outrageous you’re going to get. If you’re writing about some terrible plague that’s just hit a third world country, I don’t think you want to go around cracking jokes. But most things you’ll write about on a regular basis aren’t going to be so grim. So lighten up. Have fun with your writing.
Just make sure you get the point across.
Kind of like the way I just did.
Okay, you can go back to sleep now. Just make sure you set your alarm so you don’t miss that great new morning show that everybody is talking about.
Hey, everybody is talking about it so you know which one. Just turn on your set and it’ll be on.